Social Disease
by TheHolidays
Summary: When Zim becomes a Tallest, he is supposed to leave Earth for training. But will he really leave what has been his home for nearly 7 years? And what about Dib? Will he leave Dib as well? ZaDR, slight RaPR if you squint.
1. A Visit and a Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim you misguided fools!

"**Social Disease"**

**Chapter 1**

Zim sighed as he sat in class. He glanced up at the clock. 2:45. There was still another 25 minutes of class left. He was in High-skool now. 11th grade to be exact. Things were much different now then they were in Elementary Skool. Oh, he still tried to take over the world, but now for a totally different reason - most of the time just to get a rise out of Dib, who was still his partial-enemy. Even though Zim would never admit it, Dib was the closest thing to a friend he had. They talked at lunch, they did projects together, walked home together. In fact, quite a few comments on the pair had been made that they were even TOGETHER together. This was absurd, of course, Zim had thought, when he heard someone talking about it in the bathroom. Still he couldn't help but wonder about such things. A member of the mighty Irken race would surely never inter-breed. Especially with a pitiful human whelp such as Dib. But still…

Zim cast a half-glance at the human aforementioned who sat across the room, two seats down and one seat back. He clenched his teeth and fisted his hands tighter as he stared. He quickly averted his eyes as the human looked up from whatever it was he was writing, though by the look on his face, he was drawing again. Whatever he drew, Zim was not aware, for Dib kept his drawings in a separate folder in his bookbag. And even though they were pretty much friends, Dib never mentioned the folder or his drawings, so Zim never found any reason to bring the subject up. Besides, mentioning something like that would give away the fact that he observed the human constantly. And this, he did not want.

Zim looked back up at the clock. 10 minutes left to go. Ms. Crepsley was still babbling on and on about something. Zim wasn't really listening to her. Fazing in and out of her conversation, catching only a few choice words like 'destruction' and 'death'. He was mostly just wrapped up in his internal conversations, most of which having to do with Dib.

Zim's mind slipped into some dark corner and he suddenly caught an image he wouldn't willingly admit to anyone that he'd thought about. But instead of shy from the thought, he became more interested, letting his mind free to think up all sorts of…things… and before Zim knew it, he was forced to cross his legs. Then the bell rang. He cursed in his native language under his breath and slowly gathered his things as he struggled to regain control of himself. Finally, calming himself down enough to maintain appearances, he stood up and slung his book bag onto his shoulder. He smiled at the human who stood waiting at the door for him, and they began walking through the sea of people towards the door.

"Are you okay, Zim? You look kinda…shook up." Dib asked, walking next to the Invader.

"Eh…of COURSE I'm okay! Nothing can shake up the mighty ZIM!" Zim semi-shouted playfully into the air, halfway raising a fist as he spoke.

Dib smiled and cocked an eyebrow. The alien never failed to amuse him. His rants were usually just for show - Zim couldn't be taken seriously, nor could Zim _take_ _anything_ seriously. He had a wise crack for everything and anything.

"Riiight, Zim…" Dib responded, adjusting his book bag on his shoulder and squinting as they stepped into the blinding afternoon sun.

Zim cast another glance at the boy, who was now wincing at the sunlight. Dib was taller now, of course. The flowing scythe on the top of his head was a bit longer now, hanging down behind his head nearly to the base of his neck. The back and sides of his head were shaved while the rest of his hair was spikily slicked back, although a few rebellious strands maintained their position, jutting into his eyes, which were a bright amber color behind his wire-framed glasses. He always wore his trusty trench coat, even though he'd gotten a few new ones to fit him better over the years. His shirt today was consisted of a blue smiley face with its tongue sticking out, on a black shirt. He wore knee-length shorts today with his long, steel-buckled boots that rose up to his knees.

'Yes, the Dib has definitely changed since the short little runt he was in fifth grade.' Zim thought, tearing his eyes away for a second time as Dib turned to look at him, but Dib had caught his gaze and smiled a bit.

"What?" he asked, trying to pull a non-interested tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, human." Zim said stoically, trying to maintain his strong voice. Dib sighed quietly and looked away, and Zim saw with the corner of his eye. He finally gathered up the courage and asked, "What do you draw in class all the time, anyway?" and he regretted it as soon as he did, biting his tongue as he waited for a reply.

"Oh…whatever I feel like drawing that particular moment. Why? Have you been watching me or something?" Dib replied, beaming playfully to show it didn't matter either way.

"NO! I just…happened to look back and see you drawing is all…"

"Then why so defensive about it?" Dib grinned, continuing to stare up ahead.

"I'M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE! I just don't want you to get…eh…wrong ideas in your giant head! Why would I WANT to watch YOU anyway?" He huffed and jabbed a finger quickly at the Dib's shoulder, like a spear.

Dib made a noise and rubbed the spot on his shoulder, pulling a face. "I don't know, Zim. I have _no idea_ what runs through your mind. But you DID look like something was wrong the last few minutes of class. What with the sweating and shaking and clenching your fists and-"

"So you were watching me TOO then!" Zim cut him off, grinning in triumph as Dib's smirk melted off and he blushed.

"How am I NOT supposed to notice a shivering, sweating alien in the corner of the room? Kinda hard to miss."

"You could've kept drawing in that vile little book like you always do. You didn't HAVE to look at me!" Zim's squeedilyspooch swelled with victory.

"Neither did you…" Dib mumbled, eyes downcast as they walked down the sidewalk towards their neighborhood.

The long stretch of silence seemed to ring in Dib's ears as they continued. The only sound that could be heard was that of their feet falling on the pavement. Finally he sighed and looked back at the Invader. "What're you doing later tonight?" he asked.

Zim looked up quickly, caught off guard by such an odd question. His antennae twitched curiously under the fake hair. "Why should I tell you?"

Dib shrugged. "I don't know…maybe I could come over later and we could just hang out or something. You know…friend stuff." He paused, waiting for Zim's reply. "We ARE friends…aren't we, Zim?"

Zim stared blankly at the sidewalk in front of him, thinking of all possible replies, and finally settling on, "Why would I be friends with my worst enemy?" but it was said almost softly, completely void of threat.

Dib smiled. "I'll take that as a yes. I'll be over later then." Dib said, patted Zim on the shoulder, and headed off in the direction of his house, a separate way than Zim went.

Zim stopped short for a minute, watching the human as he walked away, trailing his eyes, examining his so-called foe. Why would the Dib want to come over to his house anyway? What could they POSSIBLY do together that was so magnificent? What was the point of this 'just hang out'?

**=Meanwhile, somewhere above the Earth=**

"Are you sure he's on THIS one?" said one Irken soldier to the other, looking at a large, extremely vague map.

"I'm positive. This is Ee-arth, right? The big, spinning blue and green one?" replied the other soldier. They sat in an Irken spaceship, hovering just outside the earth's atmosphere.

"I think so…but where's he stationed at?"

"Over in section 77C." the soldier pointed to the location on the map of Earth.

"Well then, let's go get him!"

And off they flew…

A few minutes later, the spaceship landed in the back yard. The soldiers got out and walked around the house to the front door. The first one knocked, then they stood there for a minute before it opened slowly to a little, green dog.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeessss?" the dog asked, looking up at the soldiers.

"Is Zim here, GIR?" one soldier asked, craning his neck to look down at the fluffy green thing peeking up at him.

"Wow!" the dog piped. "You know my naaaaaame!"

"Yes. Yes we do. But is Zim here?" he repeated, becoming slightly annoyed.

The little dog just stared up at them for a long moment before squeaking, "He'srightoverthere!" and pointed to the kitchen.

"Thank you." The soldier replied, stepping past GIR and into the house, the second soldier following behind.

"GIR WHO IS….it…" Zim halted as he noticed the soldiers who saluted him on sight.

"Mighty Zim, I am Irken soldier Kri and this is soldier Krad. We have come to take you to the Massive with us." Said the first soldier, who looked up at the taller Irken.

"Um…since when did you guys get so short?" Zim asked, looking down at the soldiers.

"Actually, Zim, you have gotten taller. So tall, in fact, you have out-talled the Tallests by an Earth-en half-inch." He made a gesture with his fingers.

Zim's jaw hung open. "You can't be serious."

"I assure you, Zim, we are very serious," said Krad, eyes glittering over the top of the collar in her uniform.

"We'll take you back to the Massive where the Tallest initiation will begin and then you will- " Kri started.

"But I can't leave!" Zim cut off. "I'm not done destroying the planet yet!"

"Oh, we already have an invader to take your place! Tallests don't do invader work!" Kri laughed.

"You don't understand! I can't be a Tallest!"

"Well, why not?"

"Cuz… because…eh…I have…work to do! Yes! Very important work to complete!"

"I'll take care of it." Krad said.

"What about my stuff, my base?"

"We'll pack it straight away, but you have to report to the Massive first." Kri replied.

"But I don't _want_ to be a Tallest! I don't know the first thing about BEING a Tallest!"

"That's why we have to report immediately, so you can start the training." Kri's tone sounded slightly agitated by this point.

"Why so reluctant, Zim? Haven't you always wanted to be a Tallest? That's every Irken's dream!" Krad cut in, gesturing widely with her arms.

Kri narrowed his eyes, pointing accusedly toward Zim. "You haven't made friends here, have you? Because you know that's against Invader protocol to-"

"No! Of course not!" Zim snapped. "I just don't want to be a Tallest!"

"Of course you do, silly! Now come on!" Kri said, smiling, grabbing his arm and gently tugged him towards the door. Zim shoved his hand off, fuming.

"I'm not leaving with you and that's final." Zim snapped again. "Now get out of my base." He narrowed his eyes, pointing toward the door.

"But, Zim, you-"

"I _SAID _GET OUT!" Zim shouted, baring his teeth at the soldiers, who fled for the door. Zim slammed the door behind them, still seething in anger. Then his face dropped and he walked to the couch and collapsed on it. He turned his head to face the wall, his claws gripping the fabric. They'd be back and he knew it - the tallest Irken would be forced to be a Tallest whether he wanted to or not. That was the flaw of Irken society; the taller the Irken, the higher the rank, that's just the way it was.

What had triggered his surprising growth spurt in the first place? How did he go from being the shortest Irken to the tallest in a matter of a few years? The gravity? The food? What was it? He wasn't sure. But he _was_ sure of one thing… he didn't want to leave Earth behind. Whether Dib was his friend or not, he was all he had in the whole universe. If only Dib was an Irken, things would be better. Dib was as tall as Zim…if Dib were an Irken, they'd be equals in rank. Tallests. Then maybe Dib would get the appreciation he so rightly deserved, not be treated like dirt by stupid, idiotic morons who rank their species by what clothes they wear. Maybe he could…was it possible…?

Zim quickly leapt off his couch and made a mad dash toward his labs. He had work to do…


	2. Friends and Enemies

Chapter 2

Dib hummed tunelessly to himself as he walked in the front door to his house. Gaz had already made it home and was sitting on the couch, playing a video game, as always.

"When did YOU get home?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his purple-haired sister.

She made a dismissive noise, never once looking up, and snidely replied, "About an hour ago." Her tone of voice wasn't pleasant in the least and she mumbled something incoherent under her breath at the game.

"Gaz, you shouldn't skip school, even if it is just the last few hours. What would Dad say if he knew y-"

"He wouldn't CARE. What am I going to miss in the last HOUR of school? Jeez, Dib, just because Mom isn't here anymore doesn't mean you have to ACT like her."

The cold comment left Dib stinging. She knew how he felt about their mother being gone, she didn't have to say things like that. She had hardly even known their mother like he had; she was too young at the time. She usually just said things like that to make him angry and leave her alone, and it almost always worked.

He scowled, cursed at her under his breath, and turned to go to his room. Gaz let him go without a single word or glance of even a hint of apology. He made it to his room, tears stinging at his eyes. He clawed them away harshly, suddenly angry with himself for being so gullible and listening to her flippant comments. He sighed angrily, threw his bookbag in its corner of the room and stood, closing his eyes with his fists clenched until the worst of his anger subsided. His muscles uncoiled and he walked shakily to his closet and picked out something to wear as his current apparel smelled of Skool filth.

"Jeez," he mumbled, "it almost feels like I'm going on a date." He laughed at himself as he pulled off his shirt and began to change.

Zim, buried somewhere miles under the surface of the earth, growled as he glanced at the clock. The Dib would be there any second and he wouldn't be finished and he would miss his chance and they'd take him away and he'd be all alone and-! AND-!

He shook his head slightly, pushing those thoughts aside. He had to finish, that much was certain. Just a few more genetic codes and DNA generation sequences and he could call it finished. There wouldn't be enough time to do an experiment on a test subject, so he'd have to take his chances and pray to Irk that it would follow through. As he worked, hovering over a heated computer screen and microscope, his mind wandered to the Tallests. Well… ex-Tallests. What had become of them? They already hated him more or less, and now he had forced them off the throne. Would they be Soldiers now? His servants? He cringed. Having enemies as servants didn't sound too fun; he would wake up with a laser-gun under his chin or find something harsh-smelling in his drink. Maybe they'd reported to training as well? Maybe he wouldn't have to see them for a few centuries or so?

He sighed bitterly and stood up, looking down at the serum in front of him. The liquid was dark green in color, almost black. He smiled half-heartedly before turning and rummaging through one of his many boxes of the storage compartment.

"A-ha!" he exclaimed, pulling out of the box one of the older, obsolete PAKs. It was dusty and a bit worn-out, but it was nothing that a brilliant mastermind such as ZIM (!) couldn't fix. He laid it out on a separate workbench under an assortment of tools that hung from wires. The panels on this PAK were a faint blue color, such as GIR's eyes, whereas his own were a pink-purple. And so, with this new project, Zim got to work. Time forgotten, Tallests forgotten, his mind focused solely on the work before him- attaching circuits and repairing dents, installing newer, smarter computer chips and wiring. He hoped more than anything that this would all work.

As time passed and he began doing the final touches on his new masterpiece, his mind was so focused on his BRILLIANCE that he nearly leapt from his green skin at the sound of the doorbell. He cursed under his breath. GIR would get it, he knew, and that would buy him a good few minutes. He nearly cried out in joy when he was finished. He picked up the device, scanning it over with his crimson-colored eyes, quite proud of himself. He turned, filled a needle with the serum, PAK in hand, and made his way up the elevator. He stopped in one of the higher rooms, leaving his creations on one of his medical tables. That PAK wouldn't just snap right on if it hadn't been in previous use, especially to a human. He would have to inject him and within minutes, he'd have to attach the wires to the spinal cord. The whole ordeal gambled with the Dib-human's life. So many things that could go wrong, so many slip-ups to be made. Zim sighed harshly. This was his only chance. If it didn't work, there were no do-overs.

He turned once more, stepped into the elevator and headed toward the top floor of the base. He came out in the Living Room from under the small table in the corner of the room. Dib was sitting on the couch next to GIR, both of them enthralled in a television show so much so that Dib hadn't even seen Zim enter the room until he'd stepped in front of the screen. He looked up, surprised.

"Oh hey!" Dib exclaimed. He stood from his spot on the couch merrily, outstretching his arms. "Well, here I am! So, what are we doing?" He said as if they'd been best friends for years.

Zim visibly twitched at Dib's surprising actions of the whole matter. He just stood there stupidly a moment, sizing up the human before him for a while until he realized it was his turn to speak. "What? Oh! Eh… I'm afraid I haven't much to do. For TWO people. I am not… prepared for company…" He raised an eyebrow. "Surely there was some reason you came, is there not? Zim wishes to know what this something is."

Dib's eyes quickly averted to the floor in a moment of exposure, but he successfully fought the blush from coming to his cheeks. He looked back up at the alien and faked a smile. He hoped it wasn't transparent. "No. There's no reason. I just figured… I had nothing to do… and we are friends after all, and I –"

"Since when were we 'friends'? Is this a RECENT event or did I just miss something?" Zim interrupted, folding his arms.

"Well, I mean… you don't have any friends, and neither do I, and well… whether I like it or not, you ARE the only person I have left to talk to. As I imagine you are the same?" He felt, he realized, suddenly hopeful that Zim did in fact feel the same.

Zim turned the question over in his mind, squinting one eye in thought. He pondered on the answer. How could he word it to make it seem less desperate than he actually was? "I… suppose I am. But how do I know I can trust you not to stab some tazer into my back when I am turned?"

Dib sighed. "I suppose I can't FORCE you to trust me. That's something you'll have to do on your own… But I am being 100 percent honest with you here. You're the closest thing to a FRIEND that I have. And I… I want us to be friends." His eyes had stared at the floor during the time he spoke. When he looked back up, Zim noticed his eyes were more shiney than usual and suddenly got the urge to reach out and touch them. But he stayed still.

Zim hesitated before speaking. "Dib-human… there is… something I want to show you. Will you follow me?" Zim's eyes glanced to GIR, who was completely oblivious to the whole conversation, eyes focused solely on the screen, mouth agape, saliva slowly dripping down his chin.

Dib looked warily at him. He cocked an eyebrow is suspicion, but this was about trust, wasn't it? Zim had doubts about trusting HIM, so he figured this could be a chance to get the alien on his side. "No tricks?" He still had his own doubts though.

Zim smiled, flashing a bit of his teeth. "No tricks."

**Meanwhile:**

Red scowled in his desk, his two-fingered hands scratching at the desk's top in anger. Purple noticed his actions and reached over to stop it. When Red shot a glance in Pur's direction, his expression softened a bit.

"I know you're mad, Red, but it's not like it was something we could have stopped. An Irken can't MAKE himself taller. It just… happened."

"How do we know that there's not some kind of technology on that Irk-forsaken planet he went to that could've assisted it? I mean, THINK about it, Pur! Zim was the shortest Irken we'd ever seen, and now he's taller than US? How's that even POSSIBLE? It just -! Ugh!" He growled in frustration, slamming his head onto the desk, arms hanging limp beside him.

Purple looked at him, sympathy in his eyes. True, it was odd, but it's not like it could've been stopped, there was simply nothing they could do. Getting mad about it wouldn't help anything, but try explaining THAT to Red. He opened his mouth to speak when a Soldier stepped into the room. His eyes were dark green and his armor was different shades of red and pink.

"Greetings to you, Red, Purple." He nodded in their direction. "My name is Kerj, and I will be your commanding officer during your training. So if you would please, follow me, and we'll get your armor and have you begin. Shall we?" he gestured towards the door.

"This is going to be a looong century…" Red mumbled angrily to Purple. They followed Kerj out of the room and down a dim hallway, both of them completely unaware of what was ahead.


	3. Caught

**Chapter 3**

Zim fought the rising feeling of nausea as he stepped into the elevator with the human at his heels. Dib had been awfully trusting. Maybe they could be.. _friends_.. after all, he thought as he hit the button that would send them downwards. The door buzzed closed, and the elevator began to move.

Dib stared out the glass wall of the elevator at the rooms as they passed by, gawking at them. He'd only been inside Zim's base a few times that he could remember, and they had been brief. The technology in them was simply too amazing to not be gawked at - the blinking lights and elaborate wires practically had him foaming at the mouth.

Zim watched with the corner of his eye, as Dib pressed his hands to the glass, staring out at the passing rooms. He felt the corners of his mouth twitching, and he immediately looked away, when he did, he suddenly remembered why they were down there anyway, and he fought the urge to vomit violently onto the floor. He jumped a bit when the elevator suddenly stopped at its destination. No turning back now. He stood straight up, and walked out the door, letting out a quiet "This way.." to the human, who eagerly followed.

_'How do i do this how do i do this do i just stab him when he's turned and then shove him down and drill into his spine that seems too violent but how would i distract him do i just tell him what i want to do what would he say oh irk oh irk oh irk.'_

Zim's thoughts rushed madly as he walked into the room. He saw his 'creations' on the table in front of him, and he casually walked to it, turned and faced the human. He laid his hands behind him, sitting on the edge of the table. Evidentially, Dib was too distracted by the stuff in the room to notice the things on the table, or even Zim himself. Zim watched as Dib looked around the room slowly, taking it all in. Again, he felt the corners of his mouth twitching and again, he looked elsewhere.

Dib stopped his blank staring when his gaze found the alien boy in the center of the room.

"Oh." he said stupidly. "I'm sorry, you said there was something you wanted to show me?" curiosity dripping in his voice, probably thinking it was some fantastic piece of alien machinery that could teleport you to another planet, or make you younger, or give you superpowers or-

Zim's stomach lurched, as he met the human's eager gaze. What WOULD he say?

"Dib-human, how much do you like it here?" he started, speaking slowly.

"Here as in..?" Dib gestured vaguely.

"Earth. How much do you like Earth." it was more a statement than a question and Zim's eyes bored into the Dib's.

"Oh, I don't know.. I mean, I have lived here all my life, obviously, and sure, the people here are complete morons, so much so, that sometimes I want to just gouge my eyes out. Aside from the people, though, it is a nice place, and it does have it's points where it's just beautiful, you know. I don't think I would like to see it destroyed, if that's what you're getting at." he cocked an eyebrow.

"No, no, that's not.. That's not what I meant.." Zim paused. _'Damn.'_ he cursed.

"Well then, what did you-"

_'Change the subject!' _Zim's mind suddenly screamed and Zim, in a wild desperation, did the first and only thing his mind came up with.

He reached up, grabbed the Dib by the collar of his eternal coat, and crushed his mouth onto the human's.

He'd seen it in movies before - when one character was saying too much, the other would shut them up by connecting their mouths. Of course, Zim knew what it meant, generally. It was a sign of affection, though he knew not why. He failed to see what was so intriguing and affectionate about the exchange of saliva, but it seemed to work, and that was good enough for him.

Dib was caught off guard, (who wouldn't be) but the feeling rapidly left him, and he shut his eyes, leaning into the alien, hands hesitantly reaching around to Zim's back. After a few moments, Dib cautiously ran his tongue along Zim's bottom lip When Zim opened his mouth, Dib deepened the kiss as far as he thought felt right. Though, what could be right about kissing an alien?

Zim, frankly, was enjoying what was happening, although he still failed to see what the point of this action was, it did, however give Dib the distraction Zim had needed.

Oh-so-slowly, Zim's hand crept down from Dib's crumpled collar, onto the table beside him. His fingers found the syringe, and he held it in his fist. In quick movements, Zim stood up, turned, and pressed the human against the table, all the while never losing that contact. Zim felt the human gasp slightly, and Zim pressed further into his mouth. He had to keep him distracted.

Zim leaned forward until the human's back thudded onto the table. Dib's hands held onto Zim's shoulders, just above his PAK. Zim fiddled with the needle in his hand. He could inject it anywhere he wanted, as long as it entered the human's bloodstream. The neck, he figured, would be the best place - it was closer to the heart, plus, in this position, it was pretty easy to reach. Zim's hand inched higher and higher on the table, closer to it's mark. He adjusted his grip on it, so he could pierce the skin and inject the fluid in one easy motion. He opened his eyes and dug particularly hard in the human's mouth, scoping out the correct area before striking.

The needle sunk into Dib's neck, and Zim quickly injected the fluid right before Dib tore away from Zim's mouth with a sharp cry. Zim jumped from his previous position on top of the Dib, grabbed the human's legs, and jerked him onto his stomach.

"COMPUTER! RESTRAINTS!" Zim barked loudly.

Dib flailed and kicked, uttering loud curses and strangled cries as unknown alien devices strapped him on his stomach to the table. He bit back the tears. He refused to cry. He refused!

"Zim, you bastard! What _the hell_ are you doing!" he screamed, struggling against the restraints to no avail. He winced as he felt and heard the back of his coat and shirt being ripped open in one sharp movement.

"Be quiet, Human! Zim is trying to save your LIFE!"

Zim's gloved alien hands rapidly reached at devices hanging from the ceiling. He had to work and he had to work fast. He took the first one and began to drill the proper hole into the spinal cord.

Dib let out a loud scream of pain before his world fell to pieces around him.

Dib awoke with a jump, a startled gasp, and a pounding headache.

"Ughhh" he groaned, reaching up to touch his forehead. It was hot. Really hot. He felt sweat on his brow and he frowned, leaning to sit up. He felt abnormally heavy, like he was wearing a backpack full of books. He struggled to actually sit up and open his eyes, only to realize his glasses were gone and everything was blurry. He reached up to touch his face and his hand collided with the small metal frame balanced on his nose.

"The hell..?" he mumbled, pulling the glasses from his face. "I can see without them?"

That was, in fact, an understatement; his vision had never been so clear in his life. That was when he looked at his hands.

His throat locked up as he stared down at his once-human hands. The last two fingers of each hand had fused together, giving the appearance of four rather than five. His fingernails had turned long, black; almost the whole tips of his fingers were now claws, not to mention the color of his skin was not normal in the least.

In a frenzy, he stood, looking around quickly. For a mirror, for anything. He frantically eyed his surroundings. This room was not familiar. It was not where he was when he blacked out. It was a relatively small room that was pretty blank aside from the computer insides lining the walls and the bed on which he had woken up.

He reached up, felt his hair. It felt the same, but.. what was…

"What the _fuck_" his voice was stronger now as he held the base of one of his comparitively short antenna in shaking fingers. His fingers followed it all the way to the tip and back. "This is a dream.." he muttered, placing his palms to his eyes. "Please, God, tell me this is a dream."

"And why, my dear Dib, would you _ever_ think this is a dream?"

That voice. That voice sent shivers down his spine and he didn't want to move his hands because he didn't want to see the face attached to that voice, though he knew every inch of it so vividly. He felt hands pulling at his own and he didn't resist though he knew not why. He slowly opened his eyes to see those large, ruby eyes that he knew all too well.

"Why look at you.." Zim continued. "You're absolutely beautiful in your half-Irken form. You're not finished yet, of course, but you're certainly a lot better than that horrid thing you used to be. But I suppose that wasn't your fault, was it? I mean, no race could ever be as beautiful as the Irken race." Zim purred, showing a bit of his zipper-shaped teeth.

Dib stuttered. "H-Half Irken..?"

"Why yes, my Dib-ling. That formula I injected you with is something my own amazing brain came up with and it worked. As I knew it would. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind because I am so. Damn. Amazing." Zim's tongue curled in his mouth when he spoke, and Dib found himself staring stupidly at it for a few moments. His own tongue felt odd in his mouth, to say the least. His head still swam and he felt the need to sit down.

Before he could even think twice about it, the alien was shoving him backwards onto the bed behind him. Zim sat perched on his hips, grinning like a cat that had just wrapped it's claws around the helpless canary. Dib swallowed hard; he felt so light-headed. The very tips of his fingers tingled while tiny vibrations shot up his arms and legs. He let out a small noise and wished he could black out again, but something told him that he wasn't in for a nice, quiet sleep. A flash of teeth caught his vision. Claws around his wrists. A whisper near his ear.

"Don't worry, Dib-ling. Zim will take good care of you..."


	4. Fighting the Ocean

**A/N: sorry guys, I know it's been about over a whole year since I updated. I didn't know how hard it would be to remember to update these things. You get so busy and then you forget. I'll try to make this a good chapter so I don't get mauled.******

**Chapter 4**

Purple sputtered as he fell in the dirt. He closed his eyes and groaned_. 'I'm not moving,'_ he thought. _'I'll just lay here and wait to die.' _

Both Purple and Red had gone through multiple obstacle courses, what seemed like thousands of tests and read stacks upon stacks of books all about how important the Irken race was and how to defend it. Neither of them had known how frustrating the Soldier tests were. It shed some light on why a lot of them were simply irritated workers. They had to go through _this_!

"Come on, Purple," a familiar voice said over him. He looked up to see Red's outstretched hand, that ugly collar covering half of his face. Whoever designed these ridiculous uniforms deserved to be deactiva- oh wait, they had done that.

Purple growled a bit, accepting the hand and being pulled to his feet. No more glorious floating around, no, they had to actually _use_ their legs. It was something neither of them were used to. They stumbled and fell a lot. "I hate this." Purple spat. "I'd rather be deactivated than go through all of these tests and courses just to be lower than we were." He fumed. The absolute loathing in the back of his throat tasted sour and he wanted nothing more than to violently beat the life out of the shrimp that had put them both there.

Red sighed, glancing at his partner before eyeing their surroundings with intense scrutiny. They were again in the midst of a training course. Any second a cardboard cutout of one of the slaughtering rat people would pop up from behind the fake rocks. They'd shoot at it with their laser guns and wait for another one. How many times do you have to do the same thing over and over for someone to get that you knew what you were doing? This was absurd, but what could they do? Nothing. They simply didn't have the power to do anything anymore. No, now the power had been given to someone much more incompetent. He wasn't even a decent Invader, how on _Irk_ could he be a decent Tallest!

Purple was still ranting beside him as a cutout emerged from the far left corner. Red aimed and shot with excellent precision. Purple merely blinked, shoved out of his daze. When Red lowered his gun, Purple could see an irritated expression from the half he could see of his face. "Let's get this over with, Pur. We'll plot our revenge later. I want to get back to our quarters." Red's voice was far less than pleasant and Purple nodded a bit stupidly. "We'll get him good. I promise."

**===Meanwhile: ===**

Dib grimaced, barely acknowledging Zim's words, only the pain in his own head. His vision of the grinning teeth and blood red eyes began to turn red around the edges and he started to say something before he felt a long, segmented tongue force itself into his mouth. Dib almost choked on it at first, it was so unexpected and fierce. There was a desperation in there somewhere as the alien's mouth dug into his own in such a way, he was sure it would bruise. He tried to participate, tried to kiss Zim back but the movements where jerky and awkward and he couldn't pay attention to the right things at the right time. In the end, he just stopped and let the alien ravage his mouth of his own will.

The room felt freezing and yet Dib could feel the stickiness of sweat forming on his forehead, his neck- any place that was exposed to the air felt suddenly wet and flushed. His clothes started to feel damp under his back when he squirmed and he wondered vaguely what his temperature must be as the alien pulled away from his mouth. He was slightly aware of a movement on the bed, a shifting of weight around and against him, but he was too lightheaded to pay attention.

Dib gasped, head spinning in an agonizing way as he felt the alien on top of him began to move and grind against him, still holding him down and forbidding him to pull away. Not that he had the strength to anyway. His whole body felt afire, and not all of it was due to this new illness of his changing form. His skin was so hot that when he felt his clothes being pulled away from his sweaty flesh, he couldn't help but let out a hissing snarl from the back of his throat.

He fought his eyes open and discovered that it was Zim's mechanical legs holding him down, leaving the alien's hands free to do whatever he wished. He stared downwards at the Irken under heavy lids, panting. Although his eyesight was clearer than it ever had been, the lightness of his head made his vision swim and he had to rely more on what he was feeling than what he was seeing. He felt claws meaningfully trailing down his stomach to rip and tear at the offending fabric of his pants. When suddenly his arousal ('_when did _that_ get there?'_) was exposed to the cold air of the room, it almost forced him into another blackout, but somehow he managed to stay awake.

He couldn't see his surroundings anymore; all he could see was the red pulsing of his heartbeat, so he shut his eyes where the red seemed to glow against the black. He faintly heard Zim's voice chuckling something darkly under his breath, but it was like he was submerged under water for all the good it did. The room was spinning around him and he tried to clench the bed beneath him to give him some sort of hold on the world as he felt Zim's claws, his green alien fingers beginning to stroke him in an ungodly fashion. He didn't try to stop the noises and gurgles coming from his throat and his back arched almost painfully against the alien's pleasing hand.

Zim murmured something again, but underneath this ocean, all Dib heard were waves crashing over his head. He felt like he couldn't catch his breath and he struggled and arched as Zim's pace began to pick up.

_"I'm going to drown here."_ He thought. _"I'm going to black out and I'm going to drown."_

He clenched his hands, head swimming in pain and pleasure so tightly together, they felt the same. He began to cry out, lungs filling with imaginary water under an imaginary ocean. His body twisted and arched, sweaty flesh against freezing air, brow furrowed and mouth open in a silent scream. His climax came fast and hard against Zim's hands, some hitting the alien's uniform although Dib didn't see it. He didn't see anything anymore. Pulsing red heartbeats under this ocean of fire as wave after wave of his climax hit him.

He heard Zim's voice which sounded slightly irritated, in a flirty way, but all he heard was the tone. There were no words. His head spun painfully, and he gratefully blacked out into the calming embrace of the waves.

Zim sat in front of his giant computer screen and the large console expanding the length of the room. His fingertips pressed to each other in front of his face in thought as his eyes scanned the video feed of the Dib's room. The human had been out of it for three days now, almost in a coma-like state except for the occasional sleep-moan of pain. The new PAK attached to the human made it so he could go without eating or drinking for weeks or months at a time. PAKs had to be designed that way in case an Irken is in the depths of space for extended periods of time without nutrients. But with the Dib-thing being only half-Irken he still needed to eat or drink every once in a while and could maybe survive a few months without, whereas a full Irken could last years.

As Zim watched his creation taking root before his eyes, he wondered when those soldiers would be back to get him and if the Dib would be Irken enough by then. It might not matter now that he was a Tallest. He could make almost any law he wanted now with very little resistance from others, no matter how absurd or stupid. Still, he couldn't readily explain _this_, and when he couldn't, who knows what the race would do to him. Even Tallests weren't supposed to have friends: friends meant weaknesses and weaknesses could mean the collapse of the empire. The Control Brains could easily overthrow a Tallest if they felt he'd stepped out of line. And the only sentence for threatening the empire was deactivation… _death... _or worse, becoming a Food Service Drone!

Zim sighed and closed his eyes for a minute, pressing his fingers to the backs of his eyelids and rubbing.

His thoughts almost unwillingly trailed to three days earlier, in the Dib's containment room. The way the sub-human squirmed and cried at what the almighty Zim had done. His glorious half-green skin and arching back... Zim's mouth salivated just thinking about it.

True, he probably should have waited until the Dib was a little better and not so ruled by his changing-pains. It would have been more of a challenge, a more relished victory if he had waited, but he couldn't stand it any longer. He looked too delicious in his frail state. The way his lips trembled and his hands clenched-

Zim shook his head, trying to free his mind from these thoughts. He had to wait; it was vital to the Dib's health. There'd be plenty of mating time later. He just needed the strength and the patience to endure.

But, _Irk_, how long would it _take_?

**===  
**

**A/N:** **I guess it's kindof a short update, isn't it? But at least it **_**is**_** an update. And I'll try not to take so long next time. For your patience, the next will be much longer! Till then…**


	5. Mechanical Minds Think Alike

**Chapter 5**

=Two months later=

Red and Purple, donning their uniforms, dragged themselves wearily into their quarters and collapsed onto the bed. Their bodies ached, their minds blank, their wills broken. They didn't talk much anymore, they were always too tired after their training and usually just managed to shut down for a few hours to allow their bodies some down time. After a moment, however, Red slowly inched his arm down until he found Purple's hand and gripped it. He winced at the movement as his muscles screamed at him, then opened his eyes to stare wearily into the dulled eyes of his partner for the last few centuries.

The training on Hobo 13 had been grueling, day after day of a screaming sergeant and pointless, extremely difficult tasks. Red had been the leader and had successfully gotten his team through the horrible training with only two losses and minor injuries. Still, he hadn't been the best leader on record and for that, he had gotten a good spit-soaked yelling by the sergeant. Purple's eyes had slowly but surely dulled in the weeks of training and now were almost completely empty, his PAK reverting to self-defense mode during which he showed little emotion - a sort of mechanical morphine. It hurt Red very much to see Purple in such a state when the Irken had previously been so full of life. He knew he couldn't have looked much better, nor did he feel as such.

He squeezed Purple's hand a bit harder, licked his lips with a dry tongue, and spoke slowly, "Are you alright, Pur?"

Purple's eyes lit up slightly as he was spoken to, as if finally focusing on the fact that Red was even there. "Not really" he replied in a voice scratchy from disuse.

Red winced. That had been a stupid question. "At least our training is complete. Our initiation is two days from now. You should get some rest."

Purple didn't respond, only nodded one short time before his PAK commenced a full-body shut down, his eyes closing and his breathing slowed almost to nothing. Red watched him solemnly for a few minutes before allowing himself to shut down as well.

=Earth=

Dib was starting to get used to his new body, even though he still got a bit of a shock every time he looked in a mirror. The whites of his eyes were now a bright orange-yellow color, his amber-colored irises still slightly visible, although the colors faded together. His antennae were longer, but still shorter than normal Irken antennae. His hair no longer grew, but the hair he'd had didn't fall out, so if he cut it, it would be gone forever. His ears and nose had flattened somehow, and although the semblance of the structures still remained, his ears had closed completely and he could only hear through his antennae like any normal Irken. He had four elongated, claw-ended fingers, the last two of each hand completely fused as did his last two toes on each foot. His teeth had managed to change shape as well, somewhat forming the zipper-shape of an Irken's, but still keeping his canines and molars; because of this, however, his teeth didn't close properly although it didn't seem to hinder him much. His skin had turned a weird pale green and yellow color, a color he imagined Zim would turn if he got incredibly sick, and for this reason Zim sometimes jokingly called him Dib-Sick.

Speaking of the alien, he was almost always in thought these days, to the point where he hadn't so much as looked at Dib for an extended period, though he did kiss him every now and then, usually short and absentminded. Dib had asked him about it on one occasion, and Zim explained his current predicament, why he had changed the Dib, and was trying to think of a good explanation for the half-breed.

"Can't you just refuse?" Dib had asked in reference to the fact that Zim didn't really want to be a Tallest, and Zim looked at him as if he were the most ignorant thing on the planet.

"Of COURSE not, Dib-Sick! Irken law _clearly_ states that the tallest Irken is to lead the Empire. That's why they call them the _Tallest_." He'd said the word slowly, as if talking to a very young smeet.

"Well maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, your leaders seemed to have had it made, they hardly had to do anything. Won't it just be like being a celebrity? Living the dream?" Dib smiled, ignoring Zim's anger.

"I know not of this _dream_, Dib-thing, and I don't know what they _seemed to have_ _made_, but yes, Tallests have the best of everything and are short of nothing. It is simply my fear of failure that makes me hesitate. I know there will be much training, but still the thought lingers. But first thing's first, you must learn Irken if you are to pass as one, despite your abnormal appearance. Like humans, however, Irkens seem not to notice small abnormalities. They only focus on height, still you must understand the language if you are to lead. Come." From then, Dib had spent the last month as the faithful student, listening to Zim and slowly beginning to learn the language of the mighty Irken race. His PAK helped somewhat as some of the internal codes still lingered and were able to recognize the language as Dib examined it, like it was a memory. He had mastered reading and writing by the end of the first month, but still had slight troubles in pronunciation, perhaps because of his malformed tongue and teeth.

Zim chastised him for this, as if it was the Dib's fault he couldn't pronounce it 100% correctly. He said it was blasphemy, that he was butchering the most beautiful language in the universe. Dib kept at it, learning and listening to Zim's pronunciation. At times, the alien would speak to him only in Irken, expecting Dib to understand everything that was said and reply accordingly. Most times it worked, other times, when there was a word that Dib was simply hung up on, Zim practically beat him over the head with insults. The half-human ignored them, knowing it was just in the Irken's nature to be so testy.

By the end of the second month, Dib could speak fluidly, though some of his inflections were a bit nasaly. Still, Zim gave his seal of approval, beaming proudly as Dib read aloud from an Irken manual in his computer.

"Very good, Dib-Sick, you have most successfully learned the mighty Irken language. Though some of your words sound… sickly… I have no doubt that you will pass any Soldier's inspection." Zim leaned over the Dib's shoulder, inspecting the computer screen a moment before bending down and shutting it off. Dib looked up at him inquisitively, and although Zim smiled slightly, the alien's tone was as dead-serious as when he was teaching. _"Now that you know my language, Dib-Sick, it is time to learn how a member of the Irken race takes a mate."_ He spoke his language to the semi-human who paused a bit at the word for 'mate', then felt the heat rise to his face as the alien smiled even wider down at him.

The Irken laughed slightly, then took Dib's hand and stood up, pulling the half-human to his feet.

"There are no _wed-things_ in our culture. We have no need for such trivialities. Irken ceremonies are much more..." he wiggled his fingers in the air, searching for the right word. "Complete. See, the humans are full of flaws; how can they expect to stay together simply by exchanging finger-loops? There is no connection, no tie to bind them. It is easily broken!" He waved an arm downward sharply, as if to slice an imaginary… something. "Irken mates' ties are much better. We actually connect PAKs and exchange encoded patterns..." He reached behind him and pulled a weird, thick cord from an opening on his PAK. "Similar to how the Control Brains are able to encode an Irken's status in life, two Irkens are able to share, eh, call it electronic DNA of a sort. They each become part of each other. If one dies, part of the other dies too, quite literally. This is a MUCH better way to choose a mate. It is far more binding."

He paused then, examining the Dib quietly and intently, suddenly very serious. There was a long minute of silence, during which Dib could only feel extremely self-conscious as Zim studied him like a specimen under glass. He opened his mouth to speak, and Zim held up a hand to silence him.

"I suppose you are healthy enough that I don't have to worry about you dying on me like a pitiful human, since you no longer are one. Zim simply concerns himself with the technology in your PAK. It is a far less advanced version than the current form in use. Although Irkens make no mistakes because we are _so_ amazing, there is the _small_ possibility of malfunction."

He lapsed into silence again, mentally weighing his options, as Dib stood awkwardly, waiting for a verdict that seemed he had no say in.

The light in Zim's eyes flickered on again, and he smiled coyly, looking up to Dib's face. "What is Zim saying? HE made you! HE upgraded your PAK! Of _course_ nothing will go wrong! Now turn, Dib-Sick, and I will connect our-"

Dib held his hands up, stopping Zim mid-step. "Wait, wait, shouldn't this be explained a bit further? I mean, this is mutual, right? Don't I get a say?"

The sheer hurt in Zim's eyes took Dib off-guard. He had expected anger, frustration, or his usual self-gloating, but _hurt_? Why would that _hurt_ him?

"The Dib does not wish to be Zim's mate? But Zim was sure…" He looked dumbly to the cord in his hand.

"Oh, nonono, that's not what I meant. I just mean, this is so sudden and I don't even fully understand how this is supposed to work. What if my human DNA rejects your... mechanical junk? Aren't I the one more at risk here? I mean this could _kill_ me!" He gestured vaguely to himself.

Zim bared his teeth, snapping angrily although his eyes glistened more than they should have. "Zim knows what is at stake- don't play him for a fool! I already explained that if one dies, then so does the other, so no, DIB, you are not at _more_ risk, our risk is equal! My AFFECTION," he spat, "for you simply was more important! However if even the _half-breed_ does not feel Zim is _worthy_-" He was gesturing madly, his voice loud, his eyes darting, and Dib reached out, grabbing the sides of his head and holding him still. At Dib's soft smile, Zim slightly relaxed, though his expression was still angry, but farther underneath the fire of anger was pain.

Dib smiled even more, lowering his hands to the Invader's shoulders. "Zim, are you saying you love me?"

If the Irken could have blushed, he definitely would have, instead he waved a hand violently in a 'shoo'-ing motion, knocking Dib back a step. "If that is what the Dib-Sick wishes to call it, fine! I was merely thinking that you would be a most worthy partner! Plus, Zim _made_ you, so you are his by default!" He puffed up slightly, defiantly, then Dib leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the Invader's cheek. The alien's eyes immediately softened and his stance wasn't so rigid.

Dib reached backwards awkwardly, trying to find the same latch that Zim had used to pull out that weird cord. When Zim saw what he was doing, he smiled at the half-human's fumbling and turned him so he could find it. Once he had both Dib's and his own in either of his hands, he looked up at the half-breed as if concerned. "This may hurt a little, and we may pass out. It is normal and will pass." Still, he made no further movement to connect them. It was as if he was waiting for something.

The half-human reached out and laid his hand on Zim's shoulder. "I love you, Zim." He spoke softly and Zim almost didn't catch it.

"Zim…_ loves_," he paused. The word felt strange on his tongue, "Zim _loves_ the Dib as well." And he leaned forward, eyes closed, kissing Dib hard as he made the final movements to connect their PAKs together. There was a loud whirring noise followed by a few short internal clicks. Zim dropped the wires, and wrapped his arms around Dib's shoulders, claws laced in his short hair, holding and kissing desperately as their heads filled with bright blue sparks that weren't altogether unpleasant. Dib pulled back slightly, gritting his teeth as his PAK heated up to the point where he thought it would surely burn a hole right through him. His mind was a blur of activity and he opened his eyes to see that Zim looked as if he were in a similar state. Then the static got louder, the sparks flew, all white hot and bright blue and then, darkness.

**A/N**: A thousand apologies for waiting a million years to update. You can thank my dear friend Jess for poking me mentally long enough to actually finish a new chapter. Since she will probably continue to do so, I guess you should expect to see an update that WON'T take over three years to write.


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